Tag: family

A No B.S. Gear Guide For New Dads

Dad-to-Dad Reality Check

Here’s the truth: Your baby needs love and attention, patience, food, clean diapers, and safe sleep. Everything else is a bonus.

Don’t let gear anxiety overshadow the excitement of becoming a father. Or, put too much of a strain on your bank account either. 

Worrying and what-ifs don’t solve problems or make things better. Do your prep then enjoy the little moments as the come. And if anything bad comes up, manage it then.

You’ve got this. Trust your instincts. Millions of dads have figured this out with much less information. 

The 10 Essential Items You Actually Need (0-6 Months)

Feeling overwhelmed by baby gear lists? Use this short list to cut through the noise. 

These are the absolute essentials that will get you through your baby’s first 6 months safely and comfortably. I built this list based on my own experience with two little ones, surveying parents we trust and scraping hundreds or threads to compile the top recommendations.

The Non-Negotiable Essentials

1. Car Seat (Never Compromise)

Recommended: Chicco KeyFit 30 ClearTex or Max ClearTex

Why: Easy installation, excellent safety ratings, lightweight and reputable brand.

Price: $230-$300

Dad Tip: Install it and have it professionally checked by hospital staff before you leave.

2a. Safe Sleep Setup, Crib

Recommended: Basic Crib, the IKEA Sniglar is a simple and durable crib

Why: Meets all AAP safety standards

Price: $129

Must-haves: you’ll also need to get a firm mattress, mattress cover and fitted sheets.

Safety Note: do not use bumpers, blankets or pillows as they’re all safety hazards

2b. ALT Safe Sleep Setup, Bassinet (Rental)

ALT Recommendation: Snoo Bassinet (Rental)

Why: Super safe, proven tech and great app with a ton of data tracking tools

Price: $850-$1,050 for the 6 month rental term ($159/month + fees; ask about the Newborn Special for months 5-6 at $49 each)

Must-have: get the fitted sheet and sleep sack bundles

Dad Tip: Always buy 2-3 of any wearable item so you can switch out without having to do the wash right away.

3. Sleep Sacks (Instead of Blankets)

Recommended: Halo SleepSack Swaddle

Why: Safe alternative to loose blankets and keeps your baby warm and cozy

Price: $30-$38, buy 2-3 so you have backups.

4. Feeding Essentials

Recommended: Dr. Brown’s Options+ Bottles

Why: Reduces gas and spit-up, works for breast and formula feeding

Price: $25-$45 for starter set

Dad Tip: Every baby is different and will have a preference for bottle and nipple type. Buy the narrow and wide mouth versions to test on your baby and buy more of what works.

“Even if we’re breastfeeding?” Yes. It’s best to have a couple bottles and some formula handy as a backup. Things happen. And your little one can change on a whim. Save yourself the stress of running out in the middle of the night.

5. Diapers & Wipes (Obvious but Critical)

Recommended: Any major brand + WaterWipes

Price: $40-$60/month

Buy A Range: get a case of Newborn diapers through to Size 2

Dad Tip: Babies grow fast – don’t over-buy newborn sizes + Use a size up for overnights so they can hold more pee when your baby sleeps longer stretches.

6. Baby Carrier

Recommended: BabyBjörn Mini (for newborns)

Why: Super easy for anyone to put on by yourself.

Price: $100-$120

Benefit: “Wearing” your baby is soothing for them and a good bonding experience. It will also give your arms and posture a much needed rest. 

7. Baby Monitor

Recommended: Eufy SpaceView Pro Baby Monitor

Why: Peace of mind, great video quality and durable tech.

Price: ~$160 (frequently on sale for $110-$130)

Dad Tip: you don’t have to buy this one, but definitely get a video monitor.

8. Basic Health Supplies

Essential items:

Thermometer: Braun ThermoScan ($40-$60), you’ll need this for peace of mind.

All-Purpose Lotion: Aquaphor Baby Ointment ($10-$15) safe for sensitive skin

Snot Sucker: NoseFrida Snotsucker ($15-$20), you’ll need this more than you think.

9. Changing Supplies

Recommended: Skip Hop Pronto Changing Pad

Why: Portable, wipeable, reduces laundry and expensive furniture

Price: $30-$35

Bonus: Works anywhere, safer than elevated changing tables

Dad Tip: you really don’t need an expensive changing table taking up space

10. Comfort Item

Recommended: BabyBjörn Bouncer Balance Soft

Why: Self-rocking, no batteries, folds flat

Price: $200-$230

Parent lifesaver: Keeps baby content while you eat/shower or need a break.

Dad-Tip: we also call this the “poop machine” IYKYK

What NOT to Buy (Save Your Money)

❌ Wipe warmers – Nonsense tool. Just touch the wipe to their foot to warn them so they’re not shocked.

❌ Crib bumpers – Dangerous, banned by AAP.

❌ Newborn shoes – Barefoot is better for development. Buy light socks if it’s a colder season.

❌ Swings – they’re overly expensive, do the same thing as the bounce and take up way too much space.

What to Buy New

Car Seats, never skimp on this vital safety tool.

Crib Mattresses

Bottles and Feeding Supplies

What You Can Buy Used

Clothes: There’s great deals on baby clothes all over FB Marketplace. Just wash them thoroughly before wearing.

Strollers: again, check FB Marketplace, but make sure it’s adaptable to fit your carrier.

Toys: check for recalls, but generally avoid plastic and electronic toys with batteries.

Emergency “Baby’s Due Any Day Now” Checklist

From 35 weeks, have these ready:

☐ Car seat installed and inspected

☐ Newborn diapers (1-2 packs)

☐ Going-home outfit (newborn AND 0-3 month sizes)

☐ Basic feeding supplies

☐ Receiving blankets and burp cloths

☐ Pediatrician selected and contacted

That’s it for the short list. I hope this helps take some of the stress out of the process and helps you feel better prepared for what’s to come. 

LMK how this works our, or if you have any recommendations of your own to share. 

Good luck! 

Sean

e: seanrrwilkins@gmail.com

My TL;DR for New Dads

When I was prepping to be a dad, pretty much every book and article I read or piece of advice was terrible. They set such a low bar for guys.

It was stuff like “Oh, you’re gonna be a dad soon? Well, you should really step it up and help around the house more. Stat by washing the dishes one night a week.”

Mind Blown!

And when I talked to older guys I worked with at the time they all said stuff like “you really can’t do anything to help out those first few months. It’s all about the mom.” Or, “newborns just kinda boring. Kids don’ get fun until they’re five or older.” 🤦

None of this made sense to me. It set such a low bar, and I know I wasn’t the only one out here looking for something better.

So, I started making notes and building something I could share with expectant dads, new dads, or dads just looking some more non-Boomer-ish advice. I call it my TL;DR For New Dads.

  1. You have one job.
    • Be the best version of yourself for your partner and your baby. This starts the moment you find out your partner is expecting.
    • What do you need to work on, physically, mentally and emotionally over the next 9 months to be your best for your new family?
  2. Take time off.
    • As much as you can, and then some more. You will never get this time back. First impressions make a difference. Make sure you’re around to build a connection and help your partner. None of you will remember that “important” meeting, project or trip. They will remember you being there for them, or not. 
    • If you have paid leave, even partial, you have no reasonable excuse. Make it happen. Block the time, do the paperwork, start setting expectations with your company, coworkers, partners and clients. 
    • If you don’t get paid leave start saving and still plan to take time. It’s time you won’t get back, and it’s incredibly important to be there for your partner and baby.   
  3. You CAN help. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
    • Pregnancy, birth, recovery, breast feeding, just being a new parent, is a massive physical and emotional burden. Put your partner and your baby first. Do something for them whenever, wherever and however you can. 
    • It starts the day you know you’re expecting. Your partner’s going through massive changes and will need help every step of the way. Look at what you can take off their plate on a daily basis. If you’re not helping around the house, it’s time to step up and be a man. Take on more cooking, cleaning, laundry.  
  4. You are NOT your parents.
    • Let’s say it out loud, “You are NOT your parents.” And say it again.
    • Everyday is an opportunity to be an amazing parent. If you have hang ups about your parents and your childhood, acknowledge them, define how you want to be different and move forward with those things in mind. 
  5. Don’t go bonkers on the gear.
    • Babies grow fast, make big messes, and things get lost when you’re out in the world. And new parents overcompensate with too much gear. 
    • Go simple, or even second hand, when you can. Those expensive clothes? They’re going in the trash in 3 months. Go for simple uniforms and buy 5-10 of each. That $300 high chair? It’s no better than the $24 Ikea model and you can power wash the Ikea one.
  6. Deep Breaths + Patience
    • You’re going to get frustrated, even angry at times. Lashing out or shutting down does nobody any good. 
    • When you feel overwhelmed, angry or frustrated, don’t react. Take a deep breath, count to 5. Practice not reacting in the moment, it will serve you well every day of your life moving forward. 
    • You’re going to be pushed to your limits. Accept that. Recognize when you’re getting close and interrupt that. Count backwards from 10. Take deep breaths. Walk out of the room. Yelling and getting frustrated won’t work. You’ll only make your kid ore upset, and you’ll feel like an asshole after the fact.
  7. Spend Time, Be Present
    • Put the phone down. Cuddle. Ask questions. Listen.
    • But, do take turns documenting with your partner. You will look back at those videos and photos regularly as you kid grows and they’ll bring you tremendous joy. 
  8. Tell them you love them. Every day, every chance you get. 
  9. Realize That You’re Actually Becoming A Better Person.
    • One of the success markers, that most overlook or take for granted, is to recognize your own shortcomings and doing your best to not pass those along to your kid.
    • Without a doubt, becoming a parent has made me a better person. 
  10. Document Regularly So You Don’t Forget
    • Start a journal, or a new Note file, or an email string. Start writing little letters to your kid as they grow. Start documenting and marking the little wins, lessons, firsts, etc. See my posts on Core Memories for some examples.
    • Buy that domain so they have their digital real estate. 
    • Get them an email address so you can start sending them these notes and keep that record.

There’s a ton more, but these are the most fleshed out right now. Maybe someday I’ll get around to actually writing that Dad Book of my own too.